8pm
Step 1: stay within earshot of “sleeping” Children 1-4 while polishing an agent submission in my own bed. This is technically resting.
9pm
Step 2: check on Child #3 to see if the magic of “ok you can look at your sticker book as long as you STAY in bed” has worked for instant falling asleep for third time in a row (it did 🎉)
Confiscate the book Child #2 is reading. And his back up book already stashed in bed. Check in with Parents.
9:30pm
Step 3: finish first pass for urgent evening chores (example: check the spare bedroom is still made up nicely for arrival of Parents tomorrow. Discover fossilised cat poo and still-damp cat wee all over expensive duvet and Deal With It.)
Get Child #2 to go back to his own room instead of giggling in his big sister’s bed. Give Child #1 dire warnings that if she doesn’t settle soon she’ll have less energy to enjoy her 9th birthday tomorrow.
10pm
Step 4: Determinedly ignore the Mary Rose vibe kitchen, which looks like we’ve been called away from dinner for a moment and will be back any second to finish it. In reality dinner was 5 hours ago. Eyes front! Make pregnancy-acceptable snack (my placenta is a tyrant).
Try to try to clear up bathroom that aged Parents will want to use in the morning, which was newly cleaned earlier but has since been attacked by Children #1-2 and now looks like a floodplain. Fail, gaze forlornly at it and retreat.
10:15pm
Step 5: check on 12 chickens and 13 chicks. Rehouse the coldest looking pullet (the chickens are currently between coops, but we can manually carry them off to their distant coop, long story). This involves stumbling around in the near-dark with a softly peeping pullet cradled firmly to my chest, and hurdling the electric fence.
10:30pm
Step 6: Ignore everything and make my way directly to bed.
10:35pm
Step 7: Ignoring everything was always a fickle dream. Stumble around the room which has become the junk room, full of leftover bits from the kitchen extension project, strange things unearthed and scattered by Children #1-4 (who will all swear it was one of the other ones). Item examples: bath bomb crumbs, bubble mix, screws, wire mesh and a guitar which is mostly empty of oats. Clamber over the huge slice of oak tree that Husband will definitely Do Something with one day.
10:40pm
Step 8: give up trying to find wrapping paper, eventually exhume some tissue paper, wrap up Child #1’s birthday presents (ie fold the tissue paper round them – now is not the time to begin a new hunt for sellotape or scissors).
10:45pm
Step 9: Finally make it back upstairs, doing chores on the way but not stopping.
10:50pm
Step 10: Relieve feelings by writing new blog post, while somehow simultaneously brushing teeth, washing face etc so it’s not technically making me later to bed.
11pm
Step 11: Attain the horizontal. Wonder where on earth the evening went, and which bit of it was recreational. Attempt to pass out within 30 seconds.
Goodnight!
Country Mum Writes 